How to deal with a shy man

If your boyfriend the shy type, here are ways to deal with it and things that you can do to help him open up to you.
Don’t attack him, instead approach him with a friendly demeanour
Before you chat with him, you should put a smile on your face and use a friendly, calm tone of voice. This helps him to see you as someone who’s okay to talk to and not someone who’s threatening.


Also, maintain eye contact as much as possible. While this may not be of much help to you since a shy person like him tends to look away when you’re looking at them, it will help him realize you’re serious in having a conversation. Do not approach him while you’re in the midst of a group so he won’t feel anxious, uncomfortable, and pressured. Shy people tend to do well in a one-on-one chat, so you may want to talk to him in such setting until he’s ready to deal with a larger crowd.

Discuss things that interest him
To do this, you will have to work on yourself to begin to love the things that he loves as well. If not love, then at least develop interest enough to be able to have a good conversation about it. You’ll have an easy time engaging him in a deep conversation if you start with a topic that you know he’s interested in. Talk about sports, music, outdoors or anything that will excite him enough to talk and share what he has in mind about these things.

Initiate conversation between you both
You can’t wait for him to talk because if you do, you may get frustrated and impatient. Shy type guys rarely start a conversation. For this reason, you have to take the lead in conversation. In doing so, remember to ask him open-ended questions instead of questions answerable by yes or no. This way, he will speak more than few words. It’s also helpful to remember to wait for him to answer. Do not rush him into giving a reply because it may cause him to feel pressured. Allow him enough time to answer, and be sensitive to his body language. If you sense that he’s not at ease yet, don’t force it. You can always try again later.

Be vulnerable
Talk to him about the things that scare you. Show your vulnerable side. Doing this will help him realize how you’re not afraid to show him who you really are, and will encourage him to trust you. When he develops trust, he will soon speak about what’s on his mind without fear of being judged.

Take it slow
Helping your man out of his shell takes time. It won’t happen overnight, so don’t rush him and don’t rush the process. Give him lots of love and show your support continuously until he grows more comfortable and at ease with you.

Listen
As with any other people you talk to, it’s important that you listen to your man the moment he speaks up. Remember, he doesn’t usually talk so when he does, it means he expects you to give him his undivided attention.
If he ever feels at one point that you’re physically present but your mind is wandering, he’ll feel bad for sure and all your previous efforts to make him open up will be useless.

Find common interests
Spend time discovering what activities you may both enjoy doing. Upon learning what it is, propose that you try doing it together whether it’s playing video games or watching a match. By doing something you both enjoy, the conversation will flow without much effort.

Avoid most situations that’ll stress him out
Shy guys feel uncomfortable in large and noisy crowds. For this reason, your man may prefer spending time with you alone, preferably by having a dinner date with you in a cozy restaurant or inside your home. Understand his choices and do not resent him if he doesn’t want to go to concerts, parties, malls, and other places where there may be a boisterous crowd.

Compliment him for speaking up and making effort
When he makes the effort to speak and engage you in a chat, tell him how you appreciate him for doing so. Let him know how his desire to communicate matters so much to you. Give him sincere compliments for doing his best to talk, for it will boost his confidence and encourage him to open up more to you. Introverted guys also are sensitive, so you’ll be wise not to fake the compliments you give him. He will surely sense it and he will feel embarrassed. He may be shy but he’s definitely not stupid, so be careful. Don’t tease or make jokes, especially about their shyness. You’ll only make him retreat inside his shell and you may have a harder time making him come out of it again.

Act like a damsel in distress sometimes
Ask your man to fix something for you. It can be your computer, your car or anything you think he can fix. Men, including those who are shy, are always willing to come to your aide.

As he helps you, you can strike up a conversation about what he’s doing. He’ll more likely to talk given that he knows you’re interested with what he does. This is also a great way for both of you to feel connected.

Make sure to be patient with him. Don’t nag and never pressure him. It may take time for him to get comfortable enough to open up to you but once it happens, you’ll be surprised about how talkative and interactive he can be.